Yesterday I went out to Kapolei Golf Course with my dad for my first official golf lesson. No, he's not some club pro or part of that KCC class I registered for. He's just my dad. I asked him to take me out because I figured I shouldn't wait around for the fall class to discover the joy (and pain) that is golf.

So we went out there to the driving range and bought a bucket of balls ($4 a bucket). Over the next hour and half, he did his best to acquaint me with some irons and woods. Let me tell you that it was definitely harder to do than I remember. I've only been the driving range a couple of times in my life and all when I was younger and relatively fit. Now I feel like an out-of-shape, uncoordinated buffoon trying to hit these elusive neon yellow balls.

You'd think that you'd be able to hit the ball every time you swung a club. For goodness sake, the thing is not even moving. It's not like a baseball or tennis ball that can curve or dip away from you. This little ball is just sitting there patiently waiting for you to whack it down the course. Yet, somehow this simple task takes all your concentration and effort . . . and still there is no guarantee that the ball will be moving at all.

Needless to say there were tons of times when I either missed the ball completely or topped it off. Other times I'd be lucky enough to dribble it 10 feet away from me. I'd call it a success if it was 10 feet directly in front of me. But no, now and again it'd squirt to the left or right of straight ahead.

I don't know how golfers do it. There's so much to remember and think of before every shot. Check your grip. Plant your feet. Bend your knees. Pick up the club head. Don't try to crank it. Just make contact. Slow down your tempo. Keep your head down. Oh my gosh it's so frustrating.

Besides all that, you begin to notice that your body is aching in places you never thought would ache. If your hands are like mine (ie. delicate from all that indoor office work I do 40 hours a week), then let me warn you of the possibility of blisters. If no blisters develop (lucky you), you'll definitely have achy finger joints. I'm serious. Who would've thought, right? But today my hands hurt when I close them and seem to have no strength to grip anything. I also have two minor blisters from yesterday's adventure.

In addition to these sore hands, I've got muscles everywhere screaming that they've been used and abused for no reason at all. Wrist, forearms, shoulders, back, stomach, quads, hamstrings and calves. Pretty much every major muscle is tight from yesterday's exersion. Don't let anyone tell you golf is a safe, non-contact sport. This game touches every part of your body, especially if you're not in shape (which I fully admit to not being).

Still, despite all the muscular aches and pains that I have today, I was able to hit some good, solid shots yesterday. Oddly enough, it makes you feel good to hit a good one after so many bad ones. But I did make an improvement from start to finish, and that's the main idea of practicing is it not? I intend to try again next weekend and see if I can still remember all the rules. Hopefully my body will be more cooperative and not so shocked by the weird twisting and turning next time.